Like the Air I Breathe
by The Midnight Poison
Summary: Torn between friendship and love, two lovers are left with descisions. Even the glorious victory at Hogwarts is over shadowed by Rons and Hermiones relationship difficulties. But together they begin a journey, for a relationship they have alawys desired.


A/N: This is my first fanfiction. I am very excited about posting this. Importent to know, this is post-hogwarts. So this story is picking

up right at the end of the seventh book (before the 19 years later).

Hope you guys enjoy it and I love to hear your thoughts to it.

your one and only,

_Midnight Poison_

**Chapter 1: The Aftermath**

With his head resting in the open palms of his hands, Ron let out a quiet sigh. A big burden was lifted from his heart and mind, after hearing Dumbledore's explanation. Not only that but the fact that the battle was over and Voldemort was dead, was a great relief.

"Voldemort...", Ron barely whispered those words and he could not help but grin. All his life he was told never to use that name and now the most feared wizard was gone off the face of this earth...forever.

He shifted his weight into a new position. Even the short minutes of sitting against the rough stone wall in front of the entrance to Dumbledore's office caused his muscles to cramp.

Soot, from the demon fire, still covered most of his visible skin. He saw Hermione step down the stairs to Dumbledore's office and he jumped to his feet.

Ron's stomach leaped up and his heart fluttered. Even after a battle, fighting for life or death and seeing the dark lord perish, Hermione was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Seeing her sad smile and her eyes speaking louder than words, Ron had to think back to what was awaiting him in the great hall.

"Ron, we need to get down to your parents, we have been gone too long". There was a sadness that Ron heard in her voice, a sadness which seemed to be more than just grief from losing loved ones in the battle. After her hand stroked his cheek, Hermione walked past him and down the stairs to the great hall.

_No kiss, no hug....she probably just needs some time. She is just as shaken as I am__._

He knew Harry would come later. From all the people, Harry probably still had a lot of questions. Who can blame him if he was to come later?

As Ron's feet were stepping down the stairs in a steady rhythm, a new wave of emotions hit him. He knew that Fred, Tonks, Lupin and others were lying with their eyes open in the great hall.

Thinking of Fred, Ron felt another sharp jab in his heart, a brother who he never told how much he loved and respected.

Gone. Forever.

Winning the fight against evil had its price but Ron was not ready to lose a family member and he did not feel ready to step through the great oak doors, to the scene of grief and loss.

With a short glance through a crack in the massive wood doors, he noticed that his family was the biggest group of people. They were all huddled together and he knew whom they were standing around.

Ginny and Mums faces were covered in tears and the rest of them all had their head hanging down but Ron couldn't see their faces properly.

He saw Hermione, who was already standing arm in arm with Ginny.

Not being able to accept truth and reality, it was oh so harder then, for Ron to make those small steps towards the bodies lying on the floor that he did not want to see.

Putting his hand on his Dad's shoulder, he hung his head down and was surprised to find a tear rolling down his cheek.

With a sudden hand movement he wiped it away. Looking next to him he found his Dad crying to. A steady stream of tears was rushing down his father's face.

Ron was being torn apart from the inside out and grief was already eating at his insides. Crying, he knew, would be confirming that Fred was never going to laugh or talk again.

Looking back up, he noticed that Hermione's place was taken by Harry who slung his hands around Ginny's waist and put his head on hers.

Seeing this, Ron had the great desire to do the same with Hermione and looking over to her, he saw her faced away and biting her lips. After gazing at her for a while, he tried to push away some of the grief with his longing for the angel in front of him.

Minutes crept by and after the sound of footsteps tore him out of his stare; he saw that Harry and Ginny were leaving through the doors, hand in hand.

_We kissed __but was it a kiss which happened out of rushed emotions? I love her and I know she must love me. Then why in the world, is she keeping distance to me?_

Ron stared at the opened oak doors. Again he fell into a long stare but after what felt like an hour, he noticed Hermione looking at him.

She gave him a nod towards the exit of the great hall, which had become a great hall of sorrow.

Excitement mixed into his whirl wind of feelings, as he followed her out the castle. Breathing in the cool and refreshing morning air, he looked around the familiar grounds. Seeing two figures lying under a tree near the lake and he guessed it was his sister together with Harry.

"Come, we need to talk". The words out of Hermione's mouth made it sound like there was still a big issue to be discussed.

Ron had the hope that now, being away from the grieving looks of the other people, Hermione would throw herself into his arms or something in that direction.

Without another word, Hermione started walking towards the lake at a steady pace. In the bright sunlight, he was able to see that she was still biting her lip. Her body was stiff and she was obviously nervous.

Ron had problems coordinating his legs so that he could follow her and he almost had to run to catch up.

Silently the two of them walked along the shore of the lake which was shimmering in the intense morning sun. Ron noticed the devastated state of the grounds around him and with a short glance back, he saw the damage which has been done to the castle.

Hermione stopped and stared across the smooth black water and silence filled the air.

"Ron, I was thinking a bit and I came to a conclusion". Hermione's soft tone rang like a sweet sound in Ron's ears.

He turned his eyes to hers. "Hermione, why have you been keeping distance to me, you know that...I...love...you".

_Great, she has said about one sentence and already__ you tell her that you love her_

She didn't say anything and she turned away from him, her back facing him.

He took a step forward, putting his arms around her waist and laid his head on her shoulder. Hermione let the embrace happen and Ron said, "Hermione we kissed and you know that it was an expression my true feelings for you. Still your body language is not reflecting anything of that what we felt in the room of requirement".

He thought she was about to stroke his hand but instead she gently forced herself out of his arms.

She turned around and looked at him directly into his eyes. Ron knew that nothing he wanted to hear was about to come over her lips, but still he couldn't help but sigh and be amazed by her beauty.

Her smile warmed his heart, he always loved her smile but her current facial expression was filled with sadness and all of a sudden tears welled in her eyes.

"I just thought about our kiss, my feelings and everything that happened. I know that I love you too"...She broke off as a sob shook her body. Regaining herself she continued:

"But with the current situation, I just don't know if I am ready for the relationship that we would have".

She broke out into tears and once again turned away. Ron's hand reached out for her but she shook her head.

"It's already so hard for me to not follow the desire I had for you all these years, it is breaking my heart. But I just can't take this step yet, I need time".

Ron felt a stinging in his heart, a sort of pain he never felt before.

"Hermione...", he began to speak but his voice quivered and he could not say anything else then that single word. All that he managed was the name of the girl whom he adored and admired so much.

Hermione's gentle hands touched his chin and lifted his face. He was staring into her watery eyes and she kissed him on the cheek.

"I am in no way, going to throw away my feelings for you. We just need to wait", she whispered those words and stepped away.

"I can't lose you, I need you", he said this with a pleading tone.

"Ron, all this is already tearing my heart apart but I am not letting you go. We will both know when the time is right".

Ron was stunned, his heart seemed to be bleeding and he sank to his knees. Hermione turned around slowly, stood still for a second and then walked off, leaving him with shock and a great sadness etched into his face.

_This can't be__ happening, not Hermione too..._

Losing a family member was hard enough but now he lost the girl who was his everything. He never knew that he could experience such heart ache.

Hermione was his angel, his rose and reason to smile.

He saw her walking in the distance and she stopped and looked back. Still at this distance he was able to see the pain in her eyes.

Ron knew that even after such a victory, rough and hard times were ahead. But if she loved him, why did they have to wait?

With a croak, he was able to shout, "Don't leave me here...I need you".

He saw another burst of tears streaming down her face but she paced backwards and ran off.

Gone. Not forever, but she was gone.

Ron sank into the grass lying on his back and stared at floating clouds above. He didn't want to feel anymore and thinking about Hermione for another second would probably tear his heart to shreds.

But he knew that the girl, who made his heart melt, just walked away. A chance to finally be able to express his feelings, that chance had just crumbled to dust.

She said that the time would come but Ron was just not able to imagine any more waiting.

Hermione was his everything. He needed her like he needed air to breathe


End file.
